So, tonight I went through the boxes of death. I dont know why I did it, but I did. Then I had a good cry. Its been years since I went through Barbie's box.... the autopsy, the newspaper article, the cards, etc. I looked through her untouched wallet that mom had saved, with a single dollar bill rolled up inside of it.
Then I moved on to mom's box. Not only had I saved every sympathy card, but every single card she had gotten from the first day of her illness. There were messages of hope and concern and people praying from her. One of the most touching was perhaps the one from Dr. Esquivel and his staff. I looked through the signatures of everyone who had come to the viewings. I read the booklet from the day of the funeral with all of the songs and scriptures mom had chosen. When i had had enough, I put everything back in its place and then back into my closet.