All i have been able to think of lately are bad thoughts about my mom. I remember her laying in that hospital bed at home, moaning everytime she tried to get up. I remember having to help her shower, give her shots and pack her wound. I remember that last night when she didnt even know who i was. A friend of mine recently suggested that everyday I try to write about a good memory,.. something from before she was even sick. Im going to try that to see if it helps me replace those awful memories with better one.
Mom loved playing games on the computer. She was an addict, especially on Pogo, a game site. It costs like $30 a year to be a member so i joined and we shared a screen name. Mom would play at like 5 am on weekends when she didnt work and casually chat with people who were in the game rooms. I told her to be careful... not because i was afraid for her safety but because these people would add her to their friends list and start coming into any game she was in. Sure enough a few days later, as I was playing I had all these goof balls coming in trying to talk to me. I ignored them and they got all nasty,.... thinking i was HER and i was all of a sudden ignoring them. lol Mom was like "Sorry, I had no idea!" She quit chatting with people after that but boy did she love to read everyone elses chat!